Mi Chulo-Mano Es Feurte

Back in Guatemala after a week of travelling. I am moved into San Pedro on the Western side of Lago Atitlan. I am staying at a hotel on the Lake for $2 per night. There is a dock right outside my room where I can go for a swim each morning. And needless to say the view is ridiculous and the weather here is awesome as well. Usually clear blue skies and 75-85 degrees. Only bad part so for was the dog barking full force for an hour and a half beginning at 1am. A real pleasure.

Last week I was in Honduras, travelling with RJ (who is living in Antigua right now). It was good to be back in the company of a good friend after 5 weeks in Guatemala solo. Our first stop was the ruins at Copan (a town just across the border). Mayan ruins dating from about 500 AD. We had the pleasure of being ripped off by a couple of the locals. We were promised a four hour guided tour on horseback of the local pueblo and ruins for 10 bucks. The price was quickly stepped up to 15 and the adults disappeared and left us with Hector, our 10 year old tour guide.

Hector was pretty charming and told us all about the drinking problems of our original tour guides. RJ and I rode proudly on a dirt road while Hector ran behind us throwing rocks. Yes - he didnt have a horse to ride. Hector gave us some vivid descriptions of the local sites, including such phrases as - Those are some mayan ruins over there - and - This rock looks like a frog. After 2 hours on the horses Hector told us to buy our admission to the ruins. When we returned to get back on our horses some other local kids informed us Hector had split. Luckily we ran into Hector again at 9pm that night and gave all four feet of him shit for ripping us off.

After Copan, we headed to La Ceiba and caught a boat to Utila in the Bay Islands (a group of islands off the northern coast of Honduras). Utila is a very small island with basically two roads one running east-west across the water front and the other north-south. In Utila we met up with four other friends and landed in a scuba class at the Utila Dive Center. Scuba diving was awesome and the hotel came free with the class. A few of the highlights included seeing a school of squid, a crab, a boat wreck, swimming in an underwater cave and tons of fish and coral. Our guide, Marcelo, was a cool guy from Brazil that chicks dig. His life consists of hooking up with chicks from all over the world, scuba diving, and going out every night.

After four days of scuba diving and four nights of impressing the locals with our unique brand of american humor. We left on Friday morning by plane to head back to Guatemala. The 9 minute plane ride was a quick start at 6am but the rest of the journey was a bit longer including 5 buses, two taxis, a pick up truck and some walking. Thirty-six hours later RJ and I were overjoyed to be sitting in Panajchel on the Northern side of Lago Atitlan drinking a few beers under a clear blue sky. That evening we met up with seven of RJs friends from Antigua at a beautiful lake front house near San Lucas (on the South-West side of the Lake) where we spent a day and a half. We were lucky enough to get out on the Lake for some swimming, water-skiing and cliff diving. A great end to the week.

Honduras was an interesting contrast to Guatemala. The island and the countrysides were beautiful. The air was clean and the weather much warmer than Xela. And the people were pretty friendly and helpful for the most part. The cities seemed to be a bit more Americanized than the cities in Guatemala generally. Including much more strip mall type business locations and a broader variety of fast food chains. Also, some of the people that we met seemed to only be interested in ripping off tourists. After only a week in Honduras I find myself much more cynical of people trying to help me figure out how to get around.

Today I have been getting acquianted to San Pedro with a couple of friends that have been living here for a while. This afternoon I return kicking and screaming to spanish classes. I am not looking forward to this at all after a very enjoyable week off. But I need to keep learning for my volunteer work in the spring.

Final Day in Xela

My final friday night in xela was great. I checked out Being John Malcovich a great movie you should all see if you haven't already. It was a refreshing dose of American culture which has been sorely missed at times. The theater was a cafe with a 30 inch tv and a pretty impressive sound system. I have been told that Guatemalans do not go out to see movies frequently they just watch them at home because they hit the movie theaters and cable simultaneously anyways. So there are a couple small cafes in xela which show video tapes to audiences of mostly gringos.

Following the movie. I headed to a bar with a couple friends. We were just hanging out grabbing a couple beers. And we got into a conversation with a couple guat dudes that were completely rip shit. Have I mentioned that the guatemalans have a problem with the fire water. They get all shades of wasted down here. It is pretty sad really, includes stumbling, vomiting, hitting on nasty chicks, etc. I have never seen anything like it and I saw some pretty bad stuff at school. The dudes convinced us to get a bottle of rum. So Saturday morning I was greeted with my 1st Xela hangover. It was a fun night though. Oh... and on the way home we noticed that the two guatemalan dudes were making out in the park, which was interesting.

On Saturday, I returned to Lake Atitlan. This time I was at Pana which is a city on the opposite side of the lake from where we hiked to the weekend prior. Pana is very touristy and full of hippies. The food was good but I don't see my self returning to Pana again. We took a boat ride around the lake and visited a couple other small pueblos (Santiago and Santa Catarina). The lake is huge. It took about 30 minutes to cross at cruising speed. But it is absolutely beautiful and the weather is great. I am feeling good about my decision to live down there for the two weeks following my trip to Honduras next week.

On Saturday night after dinner, a group of us hit a bar on the main strip in Pana. We were about the only gringos in there which was pretty cool. Although again there were many completely wasted guatemalans in there. One of which was adament on having a conversation with me. My spanish is decent now. I can understand most of what people say except when they are slurring all their words together and very excited to be speaking to a gringo. The enthusiasm was appreciated, the steady stream of syliva was not. Also, some large guat chick wearing a pseudo belly dancer outfit was doing an excellent job of bumping into me constantly on the dance floor. And a lot of you know how little patience I have when getting bumped into at bars. Luckily, I didn't make a scene - well she was bigger than me - a lot. Came back on Sunday.

Have I mentioned the prostitutes in Xela? I think not. But if I have don't get the idea that I am hung up on them. Its just an interesting part of the cultural experience. I was headed to the Menonite Bakery (best donuts in North America, I mean ridiculously good - I am a frequent customer). Anyways, I was headed to the Bakery with my teacher and we passed a group of girls on a street corner. They were saying something to me, but I was oblivious (dad's gift to me of not being able to hear background noise). My teacher indicated the sales proposition and I was pretty appalled. Don't get me wrong, I like young girls as much as the next guy. But these girls were pretty gnarly.

An interesting thing about the Bakery. It is only open Tuesdays and Fridays, I guess the menonite schedule is cook one day, sell the goods the next day and rest a day, then repeat. So Monday is cooking, Tuesday is selling, Wednesday is a day off, Thursday cooking, Friday selling. Weekend free. I think this is a schedule that we can all live by.

The main excitement of the week is that I finally got on the phone with the person I have been corresponding with via emailing in Bolivia for about 2 months regarding the volunteer work opportunity. And it looks like everything is good to go. The plan is for me to help a man named Peter McFarren (director of Quipus an NGO in Bolivia) with a new business venture that is he has underway. Peter has an impressive resume which includes founding Quipus, opening a couple museums, an orphanage, etc. and is an accomplished professional photographer. Peter is starting a company called DESATEL which will provide power, phones and internet service to small pueblos in Bolivia. DESATEL is a company with three directors, Peter (Quipus), a director of the University of NUR, and a director of CARE Bolivia. In reality it is a private for-profit company being formed by 3 NGO's in Bolivia. I will be working with Peter for January - June. It is a little bit of a leap of faith but I have been told great things about him by several people.

Today is my final day in Xela. Which means there is a reasonably good chance that I will wake up with a hangover tomorrow for the bus ride to Chiquimula. Tomorrow morning I am hopping on a Pullmen (1st class) bus to Guat City and then switching to another bus to Chiquimula. Have to crash in Chiquimula for the night cause the border closes at 6pm. Then heading to Copan Honduras to check out the ruins there on Saturday before heading to the Bay Islands for a week. There will be 4 or 5 of us hanging out on Utila for the week. Getting scuba certified, laying around on the beach, etc. Yes, I have a very tough life.

BTW - to those who were unhappy with no digestive update in the last email you will be glad to know there was an incident this week but after a few stressful minutes it was over and all is back on track.

Quieres busear?

Here is my proof that my spanish lessons are really
paying off. My spanish sentence of the week (some of
you will recognize this): "Nunca encuentro una chica
a quien yo le gusta solo si ella no esta bastante
borracha." My teacher and I spent a good 15 minutes
trying to come up with a good translation for: "I have
never met a girl that didn't like me, she just wasn't
drunk enough." I think that we got close. Yep, the
guatemalans teaching me spanish are getting a great
impression of American males.

Anyways, since my last email the only real story is
the hike I took to Lake Atitlan last weekend. The
trip was with a group called Quetzaltrekkers. They
are based in Xela and 80% of the cost of the hike goes
to help an organization which provides education,
housing, healthcare, counseling, etc. to some local
street children.

The trip was awesome. We (12 hikers and 3 guides)
covered the 35+ miles in the first two days. Pretty
grueling hike altogether. Very much up and down, up
and down, up and down. We passed through all
different types of landscapes. And spent a good
percentage of the trip on single track trails on the
edge of cliffs.

The trip began with a steep 2 hours climb to a peak
which looked back into the entire valley containing
Quetzaltenango and a couple other small towns. This
part was typical forest terrain until the very top
which was a vast grass land (seemed a bit out of
place).

We had a snack up there and then headed into a cloud
forest, very tropical terrain. After several hours
and after passing a few small pueblos with only
indigenous people (and after some soccer with some of
the kids) we broke for lunch on a ridge in the cloud
forest. Then we headed through some corn fields for a
few hours to our campsite (and some more soccer with
kids) on a cliff looking down at our decent for the
next day. We quenched our hungry with some asparagus
soup, pasta and corn and had a sweet bonfire.

On Sunday we awoke before the sunrise (4:45) to a
clear sky and vast array of stars and then the sunrise
over the volcanoes on the horizon. We began the days
hike by heading down into town and eating some
breakfast in the center of town. After breakfast we
continued down to a river where we hopped in to some
really frigid water (a smaller group of us also
climbed down to a ledge where we stood and look down a
40 foot waterfall). After which we passed over a very
rickety bridge (one of the guides almost fell off the
bridge cause the boards were not nailed in and he was
on the edge and the board began to flip).

We climbed for a couple hours and then walked on a up
and down type circuit of mostly cornfields for a long
day. At the end of the day we hit a restaurant in a
small town. Great food. Got a well deserved liter of
Gallo (guate beer). The restaurant was really some
families house. One of the little boys was the center
of attention. He was running around with obvious
signs of a recent pants peeing incident while beating
up his older brother.

The meal was awesome. I could have eaten another two
plates but no luck. And then we headed out of town
for a half hour to a campsite in the backyard of some
house. Also on a cliff.

Little did I know since we set up camp after dark that
Lake Atitlan was just below us. After trying to sleep
through the sounds of one of the hikers hurling 4
times during the night I awoke at 5:45 to the most
beautiful view of the sun rising over the Lake
surrounded by volanoes and small pueblos. Really
undescribable. Two hours later we were in the water.
After 35+ miles it was quite refreshing. And it was
an awesome way to go see the lake for the first time.
Most people hit it on a bus. The anticipation was
well worth it.

We spent our day swimming in the lake and the having
lunch in San Pedro on Monday. I checked out a
language school there. And am seriously considering
heading there for a couple weeks after Honduras. It
is really hot and sunny at the lake and I am thinking
swimming and tanning might be better than breathing in
the polluted air of Xela for a couple weeks.

It was an awesome trip. Toughest hiking I have done
in terms of distance. We lost some dude the first day
who had to head back to Xela in a pickup truck cause
he couldn't hack it. Awesome view of a vast array of
plants and animals. And a good peak into the
dismal/simple life of the indigenous people in the
countryside. Very friendly people of meager means of
living.

Only bad part was the two of the three guides sucked
and we had to keep waiting for them. They were a bit
slow and there was some obvious sexual tension between
them. Much bickering/flirting.

Got back around 5:30pm on Monday night, had some
dinner and went to sleep for 11 hours. Great sleep.
All I have left at this point from the trip is 30+
misquito bites and a couple small blisters on my big
toes (which have already gone away).

The rest of the week has pretty much consisted of the
usual: spanish classes, chillin with the fam, hitting
a couple bars, reading, etc.

My plans for the remainder of the stay in Guatemala
have probably changed a bit. Although my family
rules, I am thinking that 4 weeks in Xela is enough.
After my study break in Honduras visiting the ruins
in Copan and the Bay Islands (to learn scuba for $150)
the week of the 16th of November I think I am going to
head to San Pedro (at Lake Atitlan) and take classes
for two weeks. After which, I plan to head to Flores
(in the Peten region of Eastern Guatemala) for two
more weeks of classes. The ruins of Tikal and some
cool caving, rafting, jungle type stuff are near
Flores.

Hope this note finds all in good health and good
spirits.

BTW - I am struggling to find cheap airfare to Bolivia
or other parts of South America. Any advice is appreciated.

Happy All Saints Day

My last note took so much out of me I went directly
to a bar where I proceeded to sample all the finest
local cervecas and get more acquainted with my fellow
students. Most of them are pretty cool. There are
also a couple tools - other than myself of course.
There are a handful of Europeans and the rest are from
the USA. Mostly from the midwest for some reason.

Sense my last note, I have really taken ahold of my
gringo roots and started hitting the local sites. On
Saturday, I took a pretty sweet hike up to the Laguna
at Chicabal. The lake is in the crater of an old
volcano about 10,000 feet up in the clouds. We got
rained on a bit. But it was cool. The site is an
ancient Mayan ceremonial ground which was a
disappointment because it prevents anyone from
swimming in the lake. And after walking straight up a
montain for 3 hours that is all I wanted to do. But
the rain was a reasonable substitute for an American
not trying to get strung up by his balls by the
indigenious people. We celebrated our return to Xela
by getting one of the fellas housed for his b-day.

On Sunday I hit some natural springs (Georginas) on a
different old volcano. The trip to the springs was
pretty eventful. I got to rub elbows with a breast
feeding infant on the chicken bus to Zunil. At Zunil,
I piled in the back of a pick up truck for the 20
minute drive up the mountain to the springs. Very
relaxing couple of hours once you got adjusted to
swimming in 100 degree water filled with a lot
children with questionable bathroom decision making
skills. Also, there was a really good restaurant next
to the spring where I loaded up on food for next to
nothing.

Sunday afternoon, we got screwed by the always
reliable Guatemalan public electricity. Setting up to
destroy a few entrees and catch a film at one of the
cafes the power went out. Usually it goes out for
10-30 minutes. But this day it was relentless and the
movie was not to be. But the food was great. And on
that note - to change things up a bit rather than
saving it for the end - my stomach has remained true
to the cause and continues to destroy all parisites
providing me with a very comfortable bathroom
schedule.

The other big excitement for the week was preparations
for All Saints Day. They get really fired up down
here for this. I live across the street from the
cementary so I was right in the middle of the heart of
the festivities. All Saints Day pretty much consists
of decorating your family graves, eating, drinking and
foos ball. There is a mini carnival set up outside my
front door with all kinds of street meat, desserts,
foos ball, video games, a ferris wheel, some pseudo
bumper car things, and a sea of hot teenage guatemalan
chicks.

Also, I got to meet my entire host family. Everyone
came over to drink guatemalan rum, eat fiambra (the
all saints day food which consists of a cold vegetable
salad with a bunch of random lunch meat in it and
cheese on top), drink cervezas, teach nick curse
words, and smoke. It was a cloud of guatemalan
cigarette smoke in the dining room. The family is
very cool though. And they enjoyed laughing at me try
to speak spanish. Also, the fiambra sounds terrible
but it is actually very good.

This week I solved my communication trouble and picked
up a cell phone. I think it is cheap, cheaper than my
non-functioning calling card anyway. But I will have
to wait for the bill to be sure. I don't always
understand every word and could have missed an
important part of the discussion when I bought it. If
you are dying to talk to me you can now also call me
at 502-213-0855, in addition to the numbers in the
last email. The area code in the last email was wrong
by the way. It is 502. Yes I am dumb.

That about wraps it up. I enjoyed watching Jordan
make the Wizards look good last night on tv and am
heading to Lake Atitlan this weekend on a 56 kilometer
3 day hike which should be sweet. Also my plans for
the spring are starting to take shape. Details to
come soon. But looks very good for me to be able to
do some meaningful volunteer work in South America for
6 months in 2002. Setting my sights on Bolivia right
now.

Cultural note of the week. I think Guatemalan dudes
are the purest form of male testosterone embodied.
They are relentless in their pursuit of gringo chicks
regardless of features (size, appearance, smell,
dress, etc.) It is really pretty hilarious. Based on
a small survey, the gringo chicks are very much
enjoying the attention.